


Everything Will Be Okay

by Petra4President



Series: Corpsekkuno <3 [1]
Category: youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, CORPSE NEEDS A HUG, Fluff and Angst, ITS NOT ALL BAD OKAY, M/M, Precious Sykkuno, Romance, STREAM E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Sykkuno Protection Squad, anxiety and depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:07:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra4President/pseuds/Petra4President
Summary: They say when the skin of your soulmate is marked, it shows up on your skin as well. Doesn't matter if it's a tattoo, an injury, or just writings on their arm, it will show and fade just as theirs does. For Sykkuno, he went 18 years without ever having any sign that his soulmate existed but learned in one of the worst ways possible he was wrong.THIS WORK IS NOT BASED ON REALITY, DO NOT PUSH THIS SHIP DOWN CORPSE OR SYKKUNO'S THROAT. IF THEY STATE THEY ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH PEOPLE SHIPPING THEM, I WILL REMOVE THIS FANFICTION IMMEDIATELY.
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Corpsekkuno <3 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015482
Comments: 176
Kudos: 2411
Collections: Server Simps





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy the first chapter of this series. I'm not sure how long it will be yet but I do have a few ideas. That being said, I am completely open to any ideas you guys may have for the story! Leave a comment down with any suggestions, feedback, or just opinions and if I incorporate it into the story, you will be given the credit of course. Side note, there will be no smut in this story whatsoever. I personally believe that is pushing it a bit too much and I want this story to sit at a place where you can either interpret it as two best buddies or romantic partners. Anyway, enough talking, enjoy the read!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of self-harm.

Depending on who you ask, the science behind soulmates vary. Some believe that your soulmate is chosen based on how compatible you are. Others believe that the universe assigns you to someone for your life. And then, there are those who believe it was all just a scam, that there was no significance behind the marks you are given. The way it worked was whenever a mark was left on your soulmate, it would appear on your skin as well. This includes tattoos, writing or drawing on themselves, or even injuries that leave marks or scars. Sykkuno always felt bad for his soulmate because of how clumsy he was as a child. Scraped knees, cuts from thorns or branches, papercuts, and so much more. But for a while, he believed he didn't have a soulmate because nothing ever appeared on his skin. It was either his soulmate was super careful and never got hurt or he just...didn't have one. The first time he found out he had a soulmate was in the worst possible way and his closest friends were there to witness it.

It was like any other day, he was 18 and hanging out at his childhood buddy's house, Toast, with their friends Rae, Poki, Charlie, Lily, Jack, and Felix. They were messing around, playing Super Smash Bros when he felt slight tickling traveling along his wrist and his forearm. He paused the game, earning confused glances from his friends as he pulled up his sleeve. Sykkuno's anxiety skyrocketed as he watched in absolute horror, thin lines forming on his skin horizontally but as they got closer to his wrist, they were more prominent which could only mean they were deeper there than further up his soulmate's arm. The room fell silent and no one seemed to be able to take their eyes off of his arm.

"Syku-" "G-Get me a pen." He felt bad for interrupting Poki but he had to write to his soulmate and make sure they didn't go any further. He couldn't allow that. Jack placed a sharpie in his hand and, with a shaky grip, he wrote **'Please stop. Are you okay?'** on the back of the hand where they were no doubt holding the knife. He hoped they would be able to see it and he knew that was a stupid question because they were clearly not fine but he was hoping they would be willing to talk to him. To his relief, the marks halted and he sat there for a minute with his breath held. It was nearly painful as he waited, barely feeling the hand rubbing his back. Then, after what felt like forever, a very slow and sloppy looking **'I'm sorry'** appeared on his empty wrist. Sykkuno immediately scrawled out a **'No need to apologize'** and tried to ask what was wrong but after an hour, he gave up on getting a response. But, he was relieved that they were no longer harming themselves.

"They're fine now, Sykkuno. It'll be okay." Rae's voice broke through his thoughts and that's when everything just broke. He sat there, on the floor, sobbing into his hands as he felt his friends surround him in a hug. This is not how he wanted to find out he had a soulmate and it pained him to know that there was no way he could possibly help them. He didn't know who they were more or less what was happening in their lives to guide them through it. And he felt so stupid for sitting here crying when it was his soulmate that needed the comfort, not him.

For months, Sykkuno tried to get an answer out of his soulmate but he wouldn't receive a single response in turn. 2 months after the incident, the brunette woke up to a **'Sorry for making you worry, I'm okay'** on his thigh. He was a little appreciative; his soulmate was kind enough to write it somewhere he could easily hide it but more than anything else, he was relieved to see they were, in fact, still alive. However, even after that reassurance, they fell silent once again, and slowly, days turned into months, and months turned into years. Eventually, Sykkuno stopped trying to write to them daily. Now, he would occasionally draw something insignificant just to remind them that he was still there when they were ready. He figured that's why they hadn't made an effort to communicate anyway. They were probably nervous or just weren't ready.

The third time Sykkuno heard from his soulmate was 5 whole years after the last time they wrote to him. This time, he was enjoying dinner on the campus greens with his closest friends much like the first time. The only exception was Felix's and Sean's soulmates were now integrated into the group. Their names were Marzia and Evelien respectively and they were absolutely wonderful to be around. Honestly, Sykkuno had been a bit jealous that they had found their soulmates so easily. It wasn't even a planned meeting, they had met the first year of college and immediately knew. It was like a scene out of a movie.

His soulmate had written on his left arm and at first, Sykkuno hadn't noticed it, too engrossed in the delicious sub sandwich he got for cheap at the little cafe on campus. It was Lily who noticed it first, nearly spilling her coffee as she latched onto his arm with a smile. That, of course, drew everyone's attention and all their eyes were on him. Poki was already pulling a pen out of her bag as Sean took it upon himself to read the message out loud.

"'It's pretty shitty of me to leave you on read for 5 years, isn't it?'" He chuckled, passing the pen from Poki to Sykkuno. "Well, at least we know they have morals." Immediately after Sykkuno clicked the pen open, his friends were shouting suggestions at him. Rae, Charlie, and Felix were oh so kindly advised him to curse him out for making him wait so long like a dick (those were their words) while the more understandable group were saying he should at least hear his side of the story before calling him a dick (again, their words). But Sykkuno was a much nicer person than they were, so, bringing the pen to his skin, on the same arm he wrote out **'I never held it against you'** much to the disappointment of pretty much everyone.

"You're way too nice 'Kuno." Rae grumbled, sipping her tea but not able to hide her excitement for her friend because she kept glancing at his arm every few seconds. Sykkuno could only giggle, bringing his hand up over his mouth to hide his smile as everyone tried not to think about it too much but failing ultimately because it was an exciting thing. And to their disappointment, there was no reply by the time Sykkuno had to go to class. The group volunteered to escort him to the building the classroom was in, which he couldn't refuse because they were nosy people but he loved them anyway.

The two-hour lecture was incredibly boring and he was out of it by 7 pm. At this point, he was mentally kicking himself for enrolling in a 5 pm lecture. He made his way up to his dorm, a two-person room that he shared with Toast, and collapsed on the bed. He had three classes today, that was three too many and he was exhausted. He faintly heard Toast chuckle at him but ignored it as he pulled out his phone to find a text from Marzia.

' _Hey, I know you're nervous about writing your soulmate back. I thought it would ease your mind to let you know that I was super duper scared when I first wrote to Felix. But it paid off, so don't be scared! You can do it!'_ Sykkuno smiled at the perfect grammar, she was an English major after all, but her sentiment did help ease his mind just a little. Setting his phone down, he sat up and pulled his white hoodie off over his head to reveal more writing on his arm he did not previously see. Barely containing an excited squeal, he reached over for a pen. He wasn't expecting an answer so quickly after five years of silence.

 **'I can already tell I don't deserve you...20 questions?'** Sykkuno frowned slightly at the first half but decided to let it slide just this once. He wasn't going to ruin a chance to get to learn what kind of person his soulmate is. Glancing up at Toast, he noticed he was still too focused on his homework. As much as he loved his friends, he didn't want them invading his soulmate's privacy, so he crawled under the blankets, saying goodnight to Toast, and wrote out a quick **'sure'** on his arm. It was currently 8 pm and while Sykkuno usually went to sleep at this time, he was no longer tired.

 **'If it's too personal, you don't have to answer. What's your name?'** Came the sloppy handwriting he was already familiarizing himself with. To be frank, the brunette couldn't think of a single question he wouldn't be uncomfortable answering.

 **'Thomas but everyone calls me Sykkuno. What about yours?'** His handwriting was much neater than his soulmate's but there was something endearing about it. He was relieved to see he didn't have to wait long for a response, watching in awe as it appeared on his skin.

 **'Ah, safe to assume you're a guy. Just to save you the question, I am also a dude. And as for my name, I don't really go by it because of the memories it brings up so just call me Corpse'** Initially, this came as a surprise. Sykkuno sort of fell into the generalization that his soulmate would've been a girl but at the same time, he wasn't disappointed or disgusted by it. He was the type of person that didn't care what you identified as, all he cared about was what kind of individual you are. He just knew his friends were going to have a field day with this information. He wanted to ask the story behind his nickname so bad but decided to save it for a later question. **'How old are you?'**

 **'23, how about you?'** He was hoping his soulmate wasn't like, 10 years older than him. But he felt like they were young, as he used the phrase 'leave you on read' and he figured not very many older people may know what that means or even how to use it.

 **'18, what's your favorite color?'** Came Corpse's handwriting. By now, half of his forearm was covered in ink and he only hoped Corpse would be nice enough to wash off his half of the writing just so his friend's prying eyes won't invade too much on their conversations.

 **'I like green, do you have a favorite food?'** Sykkuno stayed up way past what he usually does, sitting there and writing all over his hand and arm getting to know Corpse. Toast had gone to bed long ago and he had to stealthily use his phone flashlight to see. By the time midnight rolled around, it was impossible for him to keep his eyes open any longer. He had gotten to know so much about his soulmate, asking a total of 11 questions each before Sykkuno got too tired, he even took notes down on his phone to make sure he wouldn't forget any of it. Faintly, he could feel the familiar tingling of his soulmate's writing but he couldn't force his eyes open to read it. He couldn't even remember the last question he asked. So, as sleep reeled him in, he dreamt of his first meeting with Corpse.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later, he woke to the sound of Toast's 7 am alarm going off. He was still so exhausted but he knew he had to get up to meet them all for breakfast. When he heard the sound of the door clicking closed behind his friend, who no doubt left to take his morning shower, Sykkuno pulled his arm out from under the covers to see two new messages for him.

**'I would love to have a cat.'**

**'Goodnight Sykkuno, sweet dreams <3' **

If he squealed into his pillow with a smile and blush plastered on his face, no one had to know.


	2. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I cannot believe the compliments I received for my last chapter! I am so happy you guys liked it and I hope I can keep up the good work for you all. There is a time skip in this chapter of four years from when they first talk and the reason I did this is that I wanted to include Corpse's health issues in here at around the time he experienced them in real life. I didn't want to write four years of filler and I'm sure you guys don't want that because it slows the story. Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will get the next one out to you all as soon as I can!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD ABUSE, GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS

He couldn't understand it, he really just couldn't. Everyone had pinned him as some lowlife who would never amount to anything. His parents gave up on him as did his friends, even his teachers, when he was only 11. So, he dropped out; it only made sense because they were right. He was a nobody and he was always going to be a nobody. He could remember that day so vividly, like it had just happened yesterday. His father ripping him a new one with a bottle of beer in his hands. He couldn't focus on what he was saying, all he could feel was his hands around his neck.

"How the fuck did I get stuck with a useless, good-for-nothing son like you, Adam?" His father sneered, dropping him to the floor and slamming the door shut as he left. They were right, he shouldn't burden his family like this. Slowly, he crawled to the ragged, old sleeping bag on the floor, pulling out a knife that he always kept with him just in case. Just in case he got the courage to do it. He wasn't sure if he was going to end it, he just needed something that helped relieve the pain and he heard this worked. So, apprehensively, he brought the knife to his forearm and left a long thin cut closer to the crook of his elbow. At first, it felt as if it didn't do much but as he dared closer to his wrist, he felt a rush of adrenaline hit him that urged him to keep going, to cut deeper. So he did, and that's when a 12-year-old decided that no one would miss him anyway, so why prolong the inevitable?

He adjusted the knife in his hand, ready to use the tip to cut along the artery, to just bleed out on the dirty floor. It was a death he deserved and just as the knife was pressed against his skin, he noticed black writing on the back of his right hand. **'Please stop. Are you okay?'** it read and that's when everything hit him. Adam, a 12-year-old child, was about to end it all knowing full well he had a soulmate. Adam, an ignorant child, left these disgusting marks on his soulmate.

The knife clattered to the ground and he all but scrambled to the desk. He knew he had a soulmate, he would usually wake up with random marks on his body that looked like bruises or scrapes but didn't hurt or bleed. And yet, he had still done this. He had essentially forced his soulmate to watch him try to end it. Grabbing the sharpie from the old desk that was falling apart, he pulled off the lid and wrote **'I'm sorry'** with a shaky hand. His soulmate's handwriting was much better than his.

That night, he sat by the desk, staring at the knife with wide, tearful eyes. He hadn't stopped crying since his soulmate wrote to him and he couldn't bring himself to see what they said. His arm stung and he wrapped it in a t-shirt he didn't care much for but he could feel the writings appear on his skin, he just couldn't look. And so he didn't. It took him 2 months to get the courage to write him back, another quick apology and that was it. But just to do that, it made him want to puke and he hoped by some cosmic chance, his soulmate would be given to someone else. He didn't deserve them and he never will. How could he after that shit show? They should be with someone who could not only take care of them but also someone who wasn't so mentally fucked up they wanted to kill themselves.

This was Corpse's mentality for years. It never went away and if anything, it only got worse as he got older. He no longer went by 'Adam' and cut everyone out of his life who knew him by that, family included. He moved out the second he could, basically squatting with some old friends. At that time, he was sure he could've been labeled as mentally insane. But he decided to start a youtube channel, Corpse Husband, that actually did fairly well to the point where he could afford his own apartment in Southern California. After that, things only continued to go downhill. He spent his days locked in his place, working on scary stories that were his only source of income at 17 years old. One day, he woke up with a message from Mykie, the YouTuber alternatively known as Glam and Gore. She expressed how much she liked his scary story narrations and asked if he could do a narration for one of her videos. He agreed and it took about a week to narrate and put the video together completely but after that, the two had become close friends. Corpse's only friend at the time.

She was the first person he had enough courage to show his face to. She wasn't appalled by the fact he didn't look like some sort of Norse god and honestly, their relationship hadn't changed at all. It was something he appreciated more than he thinks Mykie knew. It was also because of her that he decided to write his soulmate back after 5 years of silence.

"I know it may seem like they will judge you for what happened but from what you told me, it sounds like they were worried. And they still try to talk to you so they obviously care. Maybe you should give them a chance." Those were the words she left him with that night when she went to see her new boyfriend. And he knew she was right. He couldn't just ignore them forever because of his own self-doubt. They deserved to get to know who their soulmate was, no matter how shitty he was. So, there he sat, for six hours, wondering what he should say. Should he be funny? Serious? Casual? He felt his throat constrict at the thought of actually talking to someone who witnessed him at one of his lowest points. What would they say?

Corpse felt the panic attack before it hit, his eyes watering and hands shaking. It wasn't that big of a deal, right? There was no reason to freak out over something so insignificant...right? Closing his eyes, Corpse focused on his breathing and talked himself through it. If his soulmate says they want nothing to do with him, it would be for the best. No one deserved the kind of mess he was.

' **It's pretty shitty of me to leave you on read for 5 years, isn't it?'** was what he decided to go with. It didn't take too long before he got an answer, one out of kindness that he wasn't expecting. So, he wrote out his exact thoughts and didn't get an answer for 2 hours. He hoped that maybe his soulmate was already turned off but at 8 pm, he got a response. And from there, they spent time getting to know each other. Sykkuno was his name, and his favorite color was green. He was 23, five years older than Corpse, likes plants, was going to college for a career he was undecided on, was about 5'6, four inches shorter than Corpse was, and so many more things before Corpse realized Sykkuno had fallen asleep. With a smile, he wrote him goodnight and stared up at the ceiling. He was conflicted. Sykkuno was amazing, he could already tell, so why the hell had the universe put him with a fuck up? Was he selfish for...wanting to be with his soulmate?

They talked for about three years after that. Corpse couldn't gather the courage to ask to actually get to see him in person nor did he want to tell him about his YouTube channel. That would only lead to expectations he didn't add up to. Sykkuno was an insanely nice person, he never once asked about what happened when Corpse was 12 and even though the younger male thought he deserved to know, he couldn't tell him either. He didn't want to push him away. And Corpse had never been so happy before. In fact, Sykkuno had been the reason he woke up in the morning and continued to work through his depression. 

As Corpse's 22nd birthday neared, he was finally gathering the courage to possibly ask if Sykkuno wanted to meet in person. However, just as things go up for him, the cruel fate that is life comes to tear it all back down. He remembered the doctor visits, desperately trying to get them to listen to his concerns. But he was ignored and his health only continued to deteriorate. Soon, the doctors realized their mistakes and diagnosed him with fibromyalgia. It had gotten so bad that he couldn't even work out without his arms going completely numb and unable to function. His depression came back full swing, dragging him down to the nothingness he was so used to. He tried to talk to Sykkuno but most of the time, he didn't have the energy to. His soulmate was starting to get worried, he could tell, and he wanted nothing more than to assure him he was okay, but he couldn't.

One day, a particularly bad day, Corpse decided he needed to write Sykkuno back after three days of ignoring him. He reached for the sharpie, pulling the lid off with his teeth, and wrote **'Sorry for being a bit sparse...work got really busy'** and he cursed at himself for lying but at the same time, he couldn't taint Sykkuno with what was really going on. He didn't get an answer, knowing full well that his soulmate was in class right now. It would be easier for him this way. **'I'm glad to have gotten to know you, you're such a kind person. And I am genuinely sorry you got put with someone who has so many issues. Thank you for everything Sykkuno, it means the world to me'**

Corpse put the lid back on with a click, tossing the sharpie away. He was leaning against the bathtub, his apartment eerily quiet. His eyes drifted to the spot on the bathroom floor in front of him where 3 bottles of extra-strength ibuprofen sat. The muscles in his arms protested when he leaned forward to open each bottle, staring at the white oval pills. Picking up one bottle, Corpse closed his eyes as he felt the tears roll down his cheeks. There was no turning back now.

"Sykkuno...Mykie. Thank you for helping me through the pain." He whispered, before throwing his head back and swallowing each and every pill in that bottle. He didn't wait, grabbing the second bottle and downing that one as well. As he grabbed hold of the third, he felt his arms give in, his body beginning to shake. The pills spilled from his hands and he leaned over the bathtub, forcing his vomit to stay in. He was in pain, he didn't know how long he sat there, leaning over the porcelain tub crying and shivering as his body went cold. The last thing he remembered was hearing a faint voice before his world turned black.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His body felt weak, so incredibly weak. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move and when he did, pain shot through his spine. He took that as a hint to stay still and eventually, his body allowed him to at least open his eyes. Immediately, Corpse was blinded by lights, blinking several times until his eyes adjusted. He was in a white room, hooked up to several machines. There was an IV in his arm, a respirator over his mouth and nose. And next to him, he could see the familiar head of platinum blonde hair belonging to Mykie. She was holding his hand, her forehead pressed into his thumb. He could hear her crying, and he wanted to comfort her. He tried to reach over, but his arms wouldn't move. Luckily, his groan of pain alerted her to the fact he was awake.

"Corpse!" Her eyes were red and puffy, tear streaks staining her cheeks. She wasn't wearing any makeup and her hand finally left his only so she could carefully wrap him in a hug. "What the fuck were you thinking? You can't pull that shit ever again. You just can't." She was sobbing on his shoulder now, and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Mykie got the hint, letting go of him to grab the glass of water on the table next to the hospital bed. She helped him drink it, setting the glass back down when it was empty.

"I'm sorry Mykie, I just..." He tried but he felt his throat close again as his eyes began to sting. She sat on the bed, careful not to hurt him any more than he already was. Her hand came up to rest on his cheek. They were both crying at this point and he felt so awful for putting her through this. He forgot they were supposed to hang out that day. That's how she found him. She saw him on the verge of death. How could she stick around after that?

"Corpse, stop. I'm just so happy you're alive. Hey, look at me." Mykie's voice was soft. He hesitated before he met her gaze. Her lips held a faint smile and even though tears still fell from her blue eyes, he could tell she was happy. "You're not alone anymore, you haven't been for the past three years. I will always be here for you, I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to fight your demons by yourself anymore." She leaned forward to hug him again and it took the little strength that had returned to him to wrap one of his arms around her shoulders. They stayed like that for a while, Mykie letting him get out all of his tears before they finally separated.

"Besides, I'm not the only one who was worried for you." She smiled, gently taking his arm and showing him the messages left by Sykkuno. Some were faint, clearly old ones from when he initially wrote to him that day. He had no idea how long he was out but he figured it must've been for a bit. As he looked at them, another was coming onto his skin. Guilt clamped down on his heart and he had to swallow the lump reforming in his throat.

"I did it this way for him, you know." His voice came out too raspy and strained but he didn't care. All he could think about was a scared Sykkuno writing on his arm furiously. It was like he was 12 again, doing something so shitty to his soulmate. He set his arm down and saw the look of confusion cross Mykie's face. "If I had cut my wrist, or put a bullet in my head, there would've been a permanent mark. It would've never left his skin. I wanted...I wanted him to have someone better than me and I didn't want him to be reminded of how unlucky he was at first every time he looked at his wrist." Corpse was sure at this point he had run out of tears. He just felt numb, watching more writings show up on his other arm. He couldn't bother trying to fix the shakiness of his voice, he trusted Mykie and he knew she wouldn't judge him.

"Corpse, you listen to me." Her voice all but forced him to meet her gaze once again, a newfound determination set in stone on her face. "You are not nothing and he is lucky to have you. You don't believe me, I know, but you will someday. He won the lottery and one day, I have faith you will believe that. Until then, I will be here to remind you. And I'm going to make sure you never forget it."

The doctor came in after that, asking him a series of questions and giving him small amounts of food. He learned he was in a coma for about a week and that his liver had taken a good amount of damage. It would take months for it to recover completely and in the meantime, he wasn't allowed to take any of the other medication he was on until then. Mykie insisted on letting her stay with him, and as much as Corpse tried to tell her he wouldn't try again, she wouldn't back down and instead said it was so she could make sure someone was there in case his fibromyalgia acted up. He felt it was a lie but let it slide.

"Mykie can you...can you write something on my arm for me?" He asked shortly after the doctor left, leaving the two of them alone once again. The blonde smiled, digging through her purse for a pen and taking off the cap. She held up his arm in case he wanted to read what his soulmate had said but it wouldn't change what he needed to say.

"Tell him that I'm sorry for putting him through this again. And that I promise I will put in the effort to be a better person, for him." Corpse could tell she wasn't completely happy with that, but let out a sigh and wrote it on his wrist for him anyway. They didn't have to wait long to get an answer, it was quickly appearing right below what Mykie wrote. By the handwriting, Corpse could tell Sykkuno was happy to hear from him.

 **'Corpse! I'm so glad to hear from you! I was so worried. But please, I don't want you to better yourself for me, I want you to do it because that's what you want to do for yourself'** Mykie read it out loud for him and she couldn't help the smile. She wasn't wrong when she said that his soulmate cared for him and she desperately hoped Corpse would be able to see that too. She waited as the gears turned in her friend's head, trying to think of a response to that.

"Tell him I tried to kill myself." It was so sudden and she could only stare wide-eyed at him. She wasn't expecting him to tell anyone this to be honest, especially not so soon after it happened. But his eyes were pleading and she knew no matter what she said, his mind wasn't going to be changed. In a way, she was proud of him for sharing such personal information with someone else. It was a great step in recovery and maybe his soulmate, Sykkuno if she remembered correctly, would be there for the rest of it.

His next answer felt like it took years to appear on his skin when really, it only took a few moments. Corpse was holding his breath, terrified of what Sykkuno would say to this information. And just like every single time before, he completely left Corpse speechless.

 **'When you're better and ready, I would like to meet you'** Mykie had such a big smile on her lips while Corpse just sat there dumbfounded. Why would he want to meet him, especially after what he just said. You would think that would turn him away. But that leads to another question, is he ready to meet Sykkuno? What if they meet up and Sykkuno is disappointed with what he sees? I mean, it would be understandable, Corpse was just an average guy by all means and he had no doubt that Sykkuno was way out of his league. He hadn't noticed himself slipping into the all too familiar panic attack until he felt Mykie's fingers under his chin, tilting his head up so he was eye level with her. She was talking, but he couldn't hear her. With her free hand, she was making the motions of breathing in and out. Slowly, Corpse fell into place with her breathing, the world around him came back.

"Do you want me to tell him you're not ready?" She asked after a few more minutes of deep breaths. At first, Corpse wanted to agree with her, but he realized that they had been talking for almost four years. He had kept his soulmate waiting for four years and he couldn't do that to him anymore. After everything else he put Sykkuno through, he can at least give him the chance to meet his soulmate in person. No matter how nerve-wracking it was for Corpse.

"No. I'm...I want to meet him." Mykie could hear how laced his deep voice was with uncertainty. She wanted to double-check and make sure he was truly fine with it, but her doubt would only cause him to back out of it and she wanted him to have the chance to be happy. To be with someone who loves him. So, she wrote out **'Where do you live?'** on his arm and sat there waiting.

"You know, Corpse. I'm really happy for you. Your soulmate seems like such a nice soul and I'm so proud that you're taking the steps to see him. You're both lucky to have each other." She all but whispered, giving his hand a comforting squeeze as Sykkuno's answer appeared on his arm. Corpse made a mental note to properly thank Mykie for all of this later. He literally owed her his life and saying thank you wouldn't be nearly enough.

"Oh! He's from LA!" She smiled, earning a small, but excited smile from her best friend at the news. They sat there brainstorming ways they could meet up. Corpse was terrified of being outed for his youtube channel so public places were out of the options (of course he insisted that if Sykkuno was uncomfortable with that he'll do it) and Sykkuno lived in a house with his closest friends that he said would not pass up the chance to spy. So, they wrote their ideas down on their arms until the two came to an arrangement.

A month from now, after almost four years spent getting to know each other, Corpse would finally get to meet Sykkuno for the first time in person. He just hoped that he wouldn't fuck it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I did this to Corpse but I promise he will be okay! This will be the heaviest chapter and from now on, only mentions of suicide or self-harm may show up. If you have any suggestions for future chapters, or even how they meet because that's not set in stone, comment and I might just add them in! Thank you all for the support <3


	3. Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to go over a few decisions I made.  
> -When it came to picking the friend that would be there for Corpse, I was deciding between Mykie, Sean, Emma, or Ga$p. Originally, I was going to go with Sean but I didn't want him to really know anyone in Sykkuno's friend group quite yet. I went with Mykie because, if you didn't know, Corpse said she was the first person he revealed his face to as Corpse Husband.  
> -I felt it was important to include Corpse's recovery after the last chapter's events so I made this chapter in his POV to showcase some of that!  
> -The techniques I used in the last chapter and this chapter to come down from panic attacks are based on my own personal experiences and what helps me. In fact, a lot of this chapter is based on what helps me! 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

The first two days after being discharged from the hospital, Corpse had no motivation to actually do anything. In the back of his mind, he could hear the rational subconscious of his telling him he had to work on music or videos for his fans but he just...couldn't find it in him to get out of bed. Mykie had been staying in the spare bedroom he has and she would often stop by to check in on him or ask if he wanted food. He was appreciative that she never pushed him to eat, especially because he felt he couldn't stomach it a majority of the time. Sleep-wise, it wasn't going too well for him either. In the hospital, he got a whopping four hours of sleep each night he was there. That was a personal record. But now that he was back home, Corpse found he had trouble staying asleep. It wasn't uncommon to him but over the years, it's just gotten annoying.

On the third day, he managed to get some sleep that night, albeit shitty sleep. He either woke up every hour or only got 2 hours of rest. When he woke up that day, it was to an incredible smell drifting into his bedroom from what he assumed was the kitchen. It was noon on a Sunday and Corpse finally got just enough energy to get out of bed. He couldn't care less about his appearance, Mykie had seen him on the verge of death and he's sure it wasn't pretty. So, he staggered out of his bedroom into the kitchen to find his best friend pulling something out of the oven. She was wearing a white crop top and grey sweatpants, her platinum blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail. After setting her creation down on the counter, she pulled off her oven mitts and all but chucked them at his chest. Corpse was barely able to catch them before they hit the ground.

"I made mother fucking brownies! I hope you're ready cause shits about to get lit." She made her voice go deeper at the last word and reached behind her to show a bottle of wine. Corpse laughed, actually laughed, and set the mitts next to the brownies. Mykie always knew how to cheer him up depending on how he was feeling. She was a magician and he had no idea how she did it. As he approached, she put her hand up in a stopping motion.

"Uh-uh. As much as I love that you're out of bed, quite frankly, you stick. Go shower." Her face scrunched up and while Corpse was sure she was exaggerating, he also hadn't showered since he got home so he wouldn't doubt it. However, that wasn't because he had no energy, he wanted nothing more than to shower. But every time he walked by the bathroom, or even just thought about it, he would get a panic attack. When he tried to end his life, his mentality was that it would be better for everyone, Mykie and Sykkuno, and that no one would even notice he was gone. Now though, the bathroom only reminded him of what could have been. Mykie had made it abundantly clear how much she'd miss him, and how much she cares for him with what she's doing now. And Sykkuno being worried for him translated so clearly in his writing. It made him feel guilty.

Corpse hadn't noticed himself sinking into a panic attack until his hand was being guided from his side to Mykie's sternum. Her blue eyes were soft and she took deep breaths in and out. They stayed there, staring at each other until his breathing matched with hers, and then she smiled when he had calmed down. His vision cleared and he took note of how he was now leaning against the counter, his free hand gripping the edge of the marble until his knuckles were white. After a few moments, he dropped both of his arms back to his side and his gaze traveled from hers to the hardwood floor they were standing on.

"I-I'm sorry." He rasped, his voice quiet from not being used for nearly three days. She only smiled, pushing the hair out of his eyes to make sure he wasn't crying. She remembered the first year they became friends, they quickly bonded over the fact they shared anxiety. Many of their friends who were no longer around always thought they were a couple with how touchy they were with each other (not inappropriately, of course). Mykie could never think of Corpse in that way, even if soulmates didn't exist, because to her, he was family; like her brother and she knew he thought of her in the same way.

"It's okay. Would it help if I sat outside the bathroom door and talked to you?" She offered and after a brief hesitation, Corpse agreed because he knew if he didn't have something else to focus on other than his thoughts, he would drop into yet another anxiety attack. So, he gathered some clothes from his bedroom and a towel from the closet outside the bathroom before entering the place he had nearly died. The pills that had spilled on the floor were gone and while he was sure he had puked at some point, there wasn't even a lingering smell. Corpse was almost positive Mykie had cleaned the bathroom and he made sure to add that to the list of things he needed to thank her for.

Corpse shut the door behind him, keeping it unlocked just in case, and heard Mykie's weight leaning against it. He figured she was sitting against the wood and almost instantly, she started talking. It wasn't about anything in particular or interesting which was fine because all he needed was to focus on her voice. He turned the shower on and stripped himself of what he was wearing. Mykie was talking about the last date she went on with Anthony as he got in, the cold water hitting his back. Corpse took cold showers because it lessened the amount of time he had to stand there in his own thoughts on normal days.

"How did you meet Anthony again?" Corpse asked, knowing the answer, but it always made him happy to hear her talk about her soulmate. Mykie giggled, retelling the story of how she had been invited to a little get-together of YouTubers by her friend. She hadn't known her soulmate was Anthony freaking Padilla and the way they found out was when Anthony had fallen asleep drunk and someone had pranked him by drawing a dick on his forehead, which in turn showed up on hers. Corpse wished he was there to witness that but she had sent him a picture of the moment after it happened.

After thoroughly washing his hair and body, he turned the shower off and grabbed the towel from the spot next to the sink. She was still talking, something about her next video idea, and he quickly dried himself off. He pulled on a black t-shirt and black joggers, draping the towel around his neck. Corpse pulled the door open, chuckling as Mykie fell back at the sudden loss of her support but he bent his knees forward so her back hit his legs instead of the floor. She shot a middle finger up at him, making him laugh yet again, and grabbed his wrist to pull herself up. The two traveled back into the kitchen, Corpse using one hand to dry his hair with the towel, while the other reached for the wine. Said wine was quickly snatched out of his reach by Mykie who had the sweetest, most evil smile on her lips.

"You're not allowed to have alcohol for a while, Corpse. This wine is for me. Don't be sad though," She practically skipped to the fridge and opened it, pulling out what can only be called an imposter of wine. "I got you sparkling grape juice." He glared and she chose to ignore it, rummaging through a drawer for both a corkscrew and small spatula to cut the brownies. At her offer, he took the spatula from her and started creating generous slices of the baked goodie. Mykie had pulled out two paper plates and he deposited two brownies on each plate. Vaguely, he was aware that this probably wasn't the best choice of food for him considering he hadn't really eaten since he left the hospital.

Mykie had taken her plate and made herself comfortable on the couch, patting the space next to her. He followed suit and she handed Corpse his glass of not-wine. She turned on the show Lucifer, they were watching it together, and dug into the brownies. Corpse did the same, at a much slower pace than her, and sipped on his not-wine. The sting felt good against his throat.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time 9 pm rolled around, Mykie was out cold. She was nice enough to only have one glass of wine so she wasn't drunk by any means but Corpse assumed it was because of how stressed she was. He knew that when she was stressed, she didn't sleep, and when that stress goes away, she crashes. Currently, she was resting her head on his shoulders, a small amount of drool soaking through his shirt. Not that he cared. Corpse slowly grabbed the remote from her lap, turning off the tv and putting a hand against the cheek that was on him. He stood, moving his arms in a way to pick her up bridal style. He wasn't going to let her sleep on the couch after everything she's done for him. He reached her makeshift room, putting her down on the bed with as much care as possible and pulling the covers over her. Closing the door behind him, he went back into the living room and started cleaning up.

He was done by 9:30 and was wide awake. There wasn't much to do and he really didn't want to wake her up so, he decided he should just lay in bed until he either goes to sleep or the next day rolls around. Tomorrow, he would get back to work. Corpse shut off all the lights and went back to the master bedroom, closing the door and flopping onto the right side of the bed. He could feel his phone buzzing in his pocket but couldn't find it in him to check it. After laying there for who knows how long, his mind suddenly drifted to Sykkuno. He hadn't written to him since he woke up in the hospital and quite honestly, he was terrified too. Corpse couldn't help but glance at the sharpie laying on the nightstand, yelling at him to get over himself because Sykkuno was probably stressing out about his health. The sharpie was right.

He grabbed the pen, pulling the lid off with his teeth and bringing it to his left wrist. **'I'm out of the hospital'** he hoped this would be enough to alleviate any worries Sykkuno may have. He wasn't expecting an answer because over the past couple of years, he learned what his soulmate's sleep schedule was and he should definitely be asleep right now. And of course, he was once again wrong when he did get a response a couple of minutes later.

 **'That's good! Are you staying by yourself?'** Was what Sykkuno wrote and Corpse was just about to write when he noticed more words showing up. **'Not that there's anything wrong with it if you are!'** Corpse couldn't help but chuckle, able to imagine his soulmate's nervousness in his voice at not wanting to possibly offend him. It was endearing, in a way.

 **'You're worry is justified, I'm not offended'** He offered, sitting up straighter against the headboard. He would be lying if he said there wasn't a smile on his lips at the feeling of someone actually worrying about him. **'I have a friend staying with me. I tried to tell her I was fine but she's stubborn'**

 **'That's good! Friends always make bad days better :)'** Corpse fully believes by this point that Sykkuno was just the cutest, most wholesome human being to ever grace this Earth.

**'They do. Shouldn't you be asleep? I don't think us both being insomniacs is a good idea'**

**'Haha, don't worry, I just finished streaming so really you wrote to me at the best time'** Corpse knew about Sykkuno's twitch channel, he had told him about two years ago. But he couldn't bring himself to check it out. He didn't want his first time hearing or seeing Sykkuno to be over a stream and after he told his soulmate about his YouTube channel, he shared the same sentiment with Corpse. Mykie, however, did not and gushed to Corpse for a solid month that he's going to be blown away when they meet. Not that he wasn't already blown away by how kind of a man Sykkuno was.

**'I hope it went well. I'll let you get some rest, I don't want to keep you up'**

**'You're not keeping me up I promise!'** He could tell that was a lie by the way his responses took longer each time to come in. Sykkuno was probably half asleep but it was fucking adorable that he was still writing to Corpse half asleep.

 **'Sure Sykkuno. Goodnight, I hope you dream of unicorns and rainbows <3' **Corpse didn't get any more writings after that and he knew that Sykkuno was asleep. He sat there for a minute, debating on what to do now before getting an idea. He opened the drawer of his nightstand, finding a red and green sharpie. Pulling his joggers off so he was just in his boxer, he began to draw the outline of a rose on his right thigh. He wasn't good at drawing by any means but in middle school (while he was still in school) and his teen years, he drew a lot of roses. It was the one thing he was proud of being able to do.

It took him a solid hour to finish it. The stem was green of course and adorned with thorns. The rose itself was colored red and at full bloom, shaded the best he could do with the black and red sharpie. In his sloppy handwriting, he wrote **'A Rose for my Soulmate'** along one side of the stem. He decided to leave his joggers off so as to not ruin his drawing. Corpse wanted it to be perfect for Sykkuno when he woke up.

Corpse couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a full night's worth of sleep but the next morning, he woke up the happiest he had been in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, you thought they were gonna meet this chapter >:D but you were MISTAKEN. But no, I hope you guys enjoyed it! The friendship between Corpse and Mykie is based on my own relationship with my best friend who is of the opposite gender. I promise there will be no side relationship with them, just pure, wholesome friends! Thank you all for the support, it has been amazing and I feel that my writing doesn't deserve all the praise I've been getting. Also, shoutout to @Oceantail. I love your Corpsekkuno stories and I'm glad you enjoy mine!


	4. Happy Accidents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the mind-blowing support! It helps me stay motivated to write <3

It was difficult to keep who his soulmate was under wraps. Sykkuno wanted nothing more than to tell his friends who it was, because Felix and Sean had started playing Among Us with him, but if he did, he just knew that his friends would try to get him to watch Corpse's videos. Not that he didn't want to, because he most definitely did, but they both agreed to wait until they actually met. Sykkuno assumes it was so there would be no expectations. But after he tried to kill himself, Sykkuno needed nothing more than his friend's comfort. He didn't tell them why, and they didn't push which he was grateful for. They spent that time watching bad soap operas and drinking. He just knew that Poki was trying to get him drunk because his mixed drink wasn't quite mixed. 

Sykkuno hated the anxiety he had from waiting to hear from Corpse. He hadn't written to him in three days, he had no idea if he was okay or if he was still in the hospital. It took all of his self-control to not ask which hospital he was at so he could visit him. He was sure that's not how Corpse wanted to meet him. When he finally got word that he was okay, they talked for about three hours that night. He was relieved to hear that Corpse had a friend staying with him. Sykkuno took a mental note to hopefully thank his friend later.

It has become a common occurrence for Sykkuno to fall asleep while they write to each other. He always felt bad but Corpse never took it personally. The next morning, the brunette had accidentally slept in till noon. He could hear the other residents of the house, Toast and Rae playing Mario Kart, Lily and Poki were probably cooking while Sean and Felix were getting things ready for their lobby later. They were going to be playing with CinnamonToastKen and Boyinaband, both really good friends of Felix from when he started his channel. Sykkuno was excited to meet them and since their stream was going to start in an hour, he got up to get ready for the day.

His morning routine hasn't changed much in the past four years. Get up, grab some clothes and a towel, go to the bathroom, turn the shower on hot, get in, scrub his arms clean of ink he left because he needed the room for later, and then wash the rest of his body and hair. On normal days, he and Corpse talked almost every night. Sykkuno attributed that to his insomnia, as his soulmate described it, and he's gotten used to it over the years. Not one to take long showers, he quickly got out and began drying himself off, however, his eyes were drawn to something red on his skin that he was in the mirror.

 **'A Rose for my Soulmate'** was scrawled along the stem of a beautifully drawn rose, clearly Corpse's sloppy handwriting. Sykkuno stared at it, tracing the lines of the flower with his fingertips and admired the shading work. He had no idea Corpse could draw! Without a second's hesitation, he haphazardly threw on his hoodie and rushed to his room in just his boxers (but no one saw thank goodness), grabbing his phone and snapping a picture. He sat on this bed, just looking at the picture for probably a good 10 minutes. His cheeks were beginning to hurt with how much he was smiling and he decided to quickly write out **'Wow, you're amazing at drawing Corpse! I love it!'** on his knee. This was something he couldn't keep from his friends.

Pulling on basketball shorts, he threw his door open and slid into the living room, grabbing everyone's attention at his sudden entrance. Sykkuno stood in front of the tv, lifting the right leg of his shorts up with a bright smile. Lily was the first to react, letting loose an ear-piercing squeal as she dove forward to inspect the rose. Sean and Rae were close to follow and he was a bit relieved that Toast, Felix, Poki, and Grease decided to stay back.

"Oh my gosh 'Kuno, you two are so freaking adorable, it's almost disgusting." Rae gushed, trying to act grossed out but failing miserably because the happiness shone through her eyes. There were a few more minutes of fawning before Felix had to break it because they needed to start their stream. It was rude to keep Dave and Ken waiting and Sykkuno honestly needed a breather. They all went into their separate rooms to begin their setup process. Sykkuno was a little slower than the others but they didn't need to know it was because he was constantly checking his arms and legs for more writing.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Sykkuno." Toast teased the second he joined the discord lobby, earning laughs and a few more comments from everyone else. Today, their Among Us game consisted of Sykkuno, Toast, Rae, Poki, Grease, Lily, Sean, Felix, Ken, and Dave. Ken and Felix went way back, playing games together for many years at the beginning of both their youtube channels, while Dave and Felix became friends while filming a music video together. Both of them seemed like really nice guys and admittedly, Sykkuno really liked Ken's southern accent.

They played for about two hours, and a majority of it was spent getting used to each other's playstyles. Toast and Greaseball were absolutely amazing imposters, no doubt about it, Rae and Poki coming in as close seconds. The highlight for Sykkuno was when Felix was an imposter and killed someone, trying to say it was Ken who saw him vent. But that was also the only imposter round Felix got, the algorithm clearly not on his side. Sykkuno didn't think he was that good of an imposter and Sean just didn't like to lie. But alas, it was time for Ken and Dave to leave. They promised to play again sometime and Toast brought Ludwig to the group. They didn't have a 10th yet so they decided to play until they found someone.

After about 30 more minutes of play, Sean said he had someone who could join. He wouldn't say who it was but just described him as the 'man with the best voice you'll ever hear' and of course, Toast immediately asked Sykkuno if he was just going to take that. The brunette didn't think his voice was all that great by any means however, a lot of his fans and friends always described his voice as an anime protagonist which in all honesty, he had no idea what that meant. He laughed it off, deciding to go through with it and thank his subs while they waited. He wasn't paying much attention so he hadn't noticed their 10th joining the discord chat.

"Hello." That single word caused Sykkuno to freeze, the voice that was on a whole other level than everyone else bouncing around in his head. He couldn't explain it, it was like it was a magnet and he just...he just knew. Without knowing this guy's name or ever hearing him before, he knew from the way it made his heart skip a beat and his stomach fill with butterflies.

"Kick Sykkuno, kick Sykkuno!" Came Ludwig's voice and it was enough to bring him back to reality, stuttering out a 'wait why' for his defense. There were a few more comments from Rae and Poki before Ludwig's voice piped up again.

"Hey, Corpse, do you look wimpy?" Sykkuno faintly heard the other man in question saying he hasn't done a face reveal but he wasn't listening anymore. Instead, he uttered a quick 'excuse me' to his stream and stumbled out of the camera's view. He was freaking out. Corpse had to know, right? Why was his heart beating so fast? Should he leave the lobby? What should he do? Would Corpse be upset? Should he be upset?

Sykkuno didn't have much time to linger on those thoughts, the tingling of something appearing on his skin drawing all of his attention. It was on his wrist like so many times before but the only thing that was different was he now had a voice to match the words. It was as if he could actually hear Corpse speaking to him.

 **'I'm so sorry Sykkuno. I didn't know you would be in this lobby. Do you want me to leave?'** He could practically imagine the worried shakiness creeping into his bass-like voice. It was sweet and Sykkuno realized that he didn't want Corpse to leave. He wanted to hear his voice, he wanted to actually talk to him and play with him. He just hoped that Corpse felt the same.

 **'No, it's okay'** He hesitated, the sharpie hover above his arm before adding, **'Your voice is so cool'** Sykkuno put the lid back on and decided he was calm enough to go back to his stream. They had started a game, which made sense because he didn't tell them he was AFK, but Corpse was standing there guarding him which honestly made him blush slightly.

"Sorry chat, I had to go to the bathroom." Sykkuno hid a smile behind his lips as he started his tasks. He was relieved to see he was a crewmate because he didn't think he would be able to handle imposter right now. Corpse split off from him and while he was doing his medscan, a body was discovered. It was Felix's and Rae was the one to report it.

"Uh, Sykkuno where were you?" She asked and he laughed nervously, while Grease was accusing him of doing his AFK strat.

"Oh uhm, I had to go to the bathroom, I promise it wasn't me." The others took his word for it after Corpse vouched that he was with him the whole time. Just hearing him talk made him giddy all over. In the end, they didn't vote anyone off and Sykunno took his chance to talk to Corpse.

"O-Oh by the way, thanks for protecting me at the start Corpse, I appreciate it."

"Anytime, Sykkuno." Hearing him say his name sent him through a roller coaster of emotions. After that, the crewmates won by susing out Rae and Lily as the imposters (they foolishly killed in front of Toast), and after a few more rounds, Sykkuno and Corpse ended up getting imposter together. He had no idea what Corpse's playstyle was; however, according to Sean and Grease, he was one of the best imposters in the game. Almost immediately, a button was called because of something sus that Sykkuno did, an honest mistake on his part. He wasn't voted off but out of nowhere, Lily asked Corpse if he was an imposter and he admitted to it. This man actually said he was an imposter.

"Uh, what do I do guys? My partner just admitted it was him." Sykkuno chuckled nervously, covering his mouth with his hand. He eventually killed Rae on the way to lights, a crime that two people saw, and was voted out. He was amazed that no one even brought up the fact Corpse admitted it was him. The round went on, everyone ended up forgetting, and Corpse clutched a 1v9 win. Everyone congratulated him, calling Corpse big brain, which was true, and Sykkuno couldn't help how proud he felt for his soulmate.

"You know, I'm surprised you won after admitting to it being you." That caused a chorus of 'oh yeahs' to break out. He could easily tell that everyone liked Corpse which made Sykkuno happy because he didn't know if he could handle having a soulmate his friends hated. Once Grease was back from his bathroom break, they played some more rounds. Corpse ended up getting imposter two more times in a row after that, winning both of them, and the group slowly fell apart as Felix, Sean, Grease, and Poki had to leave. They basically made Corpse promise he was going to play with them again, which he readily agreed to, and soon enough, it was just the two of them left in the discord call after their streams ended.

"I, uh, it was really nice to meet you, Corpse. W-Well, more formally I guess. I-I mean there's nothing wrong with writing to each other! I can put a voice to the words now. Is that weird? Oh man, I'm making a fool of myself aren't I? I-I'm sorry, you're probably-" Sykkuno was interrupted by a deep chuckle, causing him to shut his mouth.

"I'm nervous too, Sykkuno. I had no idea you were friends with Jack and Felix." You couldn't tell by his voice that he was, in fact, nervous, but Sykkuno could hear he was being truthful. "I'm sorry if this ruined things for you though. I mean, about our meeting and shit." The curse words didn't turn him off, Corpse often used it in his writing so he expected it really.

"Oh, no! Don't think that! It only makes me more excited to meet you! I mean, y-you're clearly a cool person. Rae loved you and she never warms up to someone that fast." This earned another chuckle from his soulmate, he could hear the nervous tilt in it this time.

"I'm not as interesting in person, really." In the background, he could hear a door shutting in Corpse's apartment and a voice, probably feminine, calling his name. "Hey, I gotta go. I'm recording a new song and I gotta head to the studio." There was a slight pause before Corpse's voice blessed his ears once again. "Maybe we can...talk to each other more? On Discord, I mean."

"I-I would love that! Good luck with your song, I'm sure it'll turn out great! Bye, Corpse." Sykkuno left the discord call after they said their goodbyes and sat there for a few minutes to compose himself. He was blushing, smiling, trying not to cry because oh my gosh his soulmate was so nice and all of his friends liked him. He was so whipped for Corpse already. He didn't even know what to do with himself anymore.

"Hey 'Kuno, you good in there?" Poki's voice came from behind his door and he suddenly remembered he lived with other people and it was time for dinner. Getting up, he looked at himself in the mirror to make sure he looked fine before opening the door with a small smile.

"Yeah sorry, I was talking to the chat for a bit longer." The two brunettes made their way down to the kitchen, joining the group as they began talking about their latest stream. Sean was so happy that everyone liked Corpse because, according to him, they've been talking for about six months after he asked Sean if he could use 'Jackspedicey' in a song. That, of course, caused Rae to pull up his music and the group listened to the songs he released. They were really good, a little too intense for Sykkuno, but just hearing his voice made his stomach flutter.

"Uh yeah...about Corpse." Sykkuno rubbed his arm, deciding that he hid this from his friends any longer, he just couldn't, in good conscience, do it anymore. They were all looking at him expectantly, Rae having the music on pause, and Sykkuno cleared his throat to make it more dramatic because it was a dramatic announcement. "Corpse may or may not be my soulmate." There was a solid minute of silence, everyone staring at him with wide eyes and open mouths. Then, Sean leapt up from where he was sitting to give Sykkuno's shoulders a few good shakes.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me? I could've hooked you guys up FOREVER ago!" He was smiling, clearly excited by the news.

"Dude, you hit the jackpot of soulmates. I mean, holy shit, his voice." Came Grease.

"I'm shooting him a DM." Added Rae and Sykkuno took that as his cue, diving forward to snatch her phone from her hands. She glared at him, incredulous by the fact he had the audacity to take it right from her like that.

"No, please! He's a very private person and I don't want him to feel overwhelmed. I don't want his fans to find out and harass him over this." He was so genuine in his plea, Rae reluctantly agreed and he felt safe enough to give her back her device. Sean gave him a few comforting rubs before Felix chimed in for the first time.

"Yeah, Sean and I played with him for the first time like a week ago and he's kinda gone viral since then. I know what it's like to blow up and it's not easy." It was the first time the Swedish man hadn't teased Sykkuno for his soulmate. And to hear the slightly stressed lint in this voice made it clear that he was worried for Corpse, not as Sykkuno's soulmate but as a friend.

"Sykkuno is right, Corpse has told me how stressed he was about keeping his new fans happy. We should respect his privacy...for now." Sykkuno knew the eventual "Hurt Sykkuno and I'll kill you" talk would happen and he just prayed he would be able to hold that back for as long as possible. Felix, Sean, and Grease already approved of him because they had met him previously and he was pretty sure the others liked him as well.

"I can't believe I'm losing my number 1 simp." Toast sighed, placing a hand over his heart in mock hurt. Lily and Poki gave him a hug, nodding with a look of feigned sadness on their face. The three of them could be amazing actors if they wanted to be.

"It happens to the best of us, Toast." Poki sniffled, wiping away a nonexistent tear before shielding herself from a box of tissues being thrown at her by Sykkuno.

"You know I'll always be everyone's number 1 simp." The brunette reassured them, offering to get the pizza out of the oven when the timer went off. Just like any other night, they ate dinner as a group, laughing and joking like there was no tomorrow. Sykkuno couldn't be more appreciative of the amazing friends he had. But, in the back of his heart, he knew this dynamic was missing one man with an incredibly deep voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love ourselves some wholesome friendships. I hope their first "meeting" was as cute and awkward as you hoped and I'm especially looking forward to the next chapter. Stay tuned!


	5. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are way too kind when it comes to my writing, I feel as if it isn't good enough to get all the praise I've gotten. That being said, Oceantail is a mastermind at figuring out my plot lol 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of alcoholism, past self-harm, and panic attacks.

Corpse wasn't sure how to handle going viral. It has been about two weeks now and he's been working non-stop to try and keep it. He had since released a new song with SavageGa$p and it has easily become his most popular song in a manner of 5 days. If it weren't for Mykie, he would've worked himself to death already.

If he was being honest, he wasn't sure how to keep all the fame. He figured it was for his voice because he knew for a fact his personality wasn't that interesting. Corpse started streaming Among Us, something that made him incredibly nervous, and was constantly baffled by the fact there would be over 100k people watching. He just couldn't fathom why.

"It's because you're amazing and people are starting to realize that." Mykie had offered one day when she basically had to force him away from his computer to eat. She was staying with him until he recovered enough to take his meds, in case his fibromyalgia flared up, which was a big possibility considering how stressed he was. Mykie would make sure he ate, slept, kept up on basic hygiene, he was positive that without her, he would've withered away.

Currently, they were sitting at the counter in his apartment; Mykie had made them Chicken Alfredo and he remembered how wonderful home-cooked meals were. They ate in silence, Corpse making sure that he was eating slowly so as to not cause his GERD to act up. Since he couldn't have Mykie doing absolutely everything, he did the dishes, and eventually, the two settled back down at the counter.

"Mykie I really don't know how to thank you for everything." Corpse started, taking a sip of the water he got earlier. "You didn't have to do any of this but you are, even when I don't deserve it." He heard her sigh, letting a few seconds of silence pass before she spoke. Her voice was soft and emotion laced every single word she spoke.

"I never told you this but....when we first became friends I was in a pretty bad spot. My YouTube channel started getting popular and I was stressing about how to keep it going. I was new to all of it. I just didn't know how to maintain it. Eventually, I started...drinking too much. To drown the stress, I guess." Mykie was picking at the skin around her fingernails, it was her nervous habit. He offered her his hand and she carefully placed her own within his. "Whenever it got really bad, you just seemed to be there. It wasn't on purpose, I don't think, but you'd just show up at my apartment with wine and take-out, or you'd text me to play games at your place. You helped me get through an unhealthy addiction. I didn't tell you because I felt like that would've just put pressure on you that you didn't need but whenever I felt down all I had to do was text you and you were always ready to hangout." She finally met his eyes, her own barely holding back tears.

"I'm not letting you beat yourself up over this. Even if you hadn't helped me back then, I would still happily do this for you. And you can't say anything because if you knew what I was going through, you would do the exact same thing." She smiled, using her free hand to wipe the tears before standing up and heading to her room. Mykie was never the best at sharing her emotions and Corpse felt happy that she trusted him enough. He hadn't realized he did that much for her but he was pretty oblivious to things like that. After sitting there for a couple of minutes, he decided to head to his computer to join a stream with PewDiePie and Jacksepticeye.

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It was a Monday night, Corpse was in the passenger seat of Mykie's car, staring at his hands with wide eyes. Currently, he was having a panic attack. He felt as if he couldn't breathe through the black face mask he was wearing, his hands shaking as his chest was uncomfortably tight. The car was too confining, its walls slowly closing in on him. He couldn't focus on anything around him, the only sound he could process was his uneven breaths. This wasn't that big of a deal, right? Oh god, what if he didn't live up to the expectations. He knew for a fact he didn't. Why did he agree to do this anyway?

"I can't fucking do this." He finally spoke, his throat painfully dry. He couldn't bring himself to look out the window, just knowing that he was surrounded by people who could figure out who he was made his anxiety 10x worse. His hands traveled up to his hair, tugging at the strands so the pain would hopefully distract him. That's when Mykie intervened, carefully pulling his hands away and moving his head to meet his eyes.

"Yes, you can, Corpse." She spoke softly, fixing his hair as he sat there calming himself down. Failing at it, but trying at least. Mykie let him sit there until she was happy with how his hair looked. She had spent all morning taming the beast, his hair sat at an awkward stage between curly and wavy. She always said she loved it but he honestly just didn't know how to make it look halfway decent.

"I can't. Everyone expects me to look like some kind of Norse god. I don't. He's going to be disappointed." The all too familiar lump started forming in this throat and just to not make Mykie upset, he decided to grip his knees instead of his hair. She huffed, putting a hand on his shoulder and drawing his attention to her eyes once again. This time, she had a look of such fierce determination.

"You listen to me, and you listen to me good. Expectations are bullshit and you should know this more than anymore. If he is 'disappointed' by what you look like, which he shouldn't because despite what you may believe, you're not ugly, then fuck him. He doesn't deserve you and I will personally kick his ass if that's the case." If there was one thing that could cheer him up, it would be Mykie's pep talks. He chuckled, feeling his breathing stabilize. Corpse leaned back in the chair, adjusting his facemask to sit more comfortably on his nose. He was wearing a white eyepatch over his right eye as well, both to hide most of his face as well as to keep his eye from hurting. Mykie chose a black hoodie that, according to her, he pulled off pretty well, black skinny jeans, and black converse. Corpse decided to wear his usual silver gothic rings, two on the right hand and one on the left hand, a silver chain around his neck as well as a gold necklace with a triangle and key in the middle that hung lower than the chain. Bracelet wise, he wore a beaded one that read 'Bad Bitch' with a heart bead in between those words. Another one was the friendship bracelet that he and Mykie made when they were drunk three years ago. He couldn't be bothered to repaint his nails because he felt the chipped black nail polish fit the aesthetic.

**(NOTE: This is the outfit Corpse wore in the interview with Anthony Padilla except I traded the face mask he wore with just a normal one + an eyepatch!)**

"Do I look okay?" Corpse finally asked when he felt he was ready. She gave him a beaming smile, straightening the collar of his hoodie as well as the longer necklace.

"You look like a damn good snack. Now get out there and meet your soulmate!" And with that, he left the car. Shockingly, his anxiety was pretty mellow. Today was the day that he and Sykkuno agreed to meet in person. His soulmate knew of a little park that was only known to the locals so it wasn't overly crowded, which he appreciated. Mykie was familiar with the area so she was offered to drop him off, which, again, he didn't have much of a say in because she didn't want him driving while off his meds. It was understandable.

The park was small, a few benches laying around and just like Sykkuno said, there weren't a whole lot of people there. He was told that there would be a bench with 'S, T, R, L, J, F' carved into the wood together. There were only about 7 benches, so he started to look at each of them with his hands in his pockets. Just as he got through checking the fourth one, someone slammed into him from behind and he stumbled forward, clutching the armrest and turning to barely catch the person by the arm.

"O-Oh I am so sorry! I-I wasn't looking where I was going and-"

"Sykkuno?"

Corpse recognized that voice immediately. It was just as pleasing to hear in person. Sykkuno met his eyes, straightening up with a beautifully blinding smile. His hair was straight and on the longer side, he had amazing chocolate brown eyes that just sparkled, he was wearing a white hoodie with light blue skinny jeans. He was about 5'6, four inches shorter than Corpse stood, and he was nervously moving the hair resting in front of his forehead to the side. Light colors looked so good on him and Corpse couldn't believe he was so lucky to be paired with someone so wholesome.

"Corpse! Oh my gosh, i-it's so good to meet you finally!" Sykkuno brought a hand up to cover his laugh, and Corpse wanted nothing more than to stop him from doing that because he wanted to see him smile and hear his laugh. But he was sinking into another panic attack. It wasn't because he was actually meeting Sykkuno and it wasn't because he was worried about what he would think. It was because he caught sight of what was on Sykkuno's wrist.

"Corpse?" Sykkuno's eyebrows furrowed and he hesitantly reached forward to comfort him but the man in question gently took hold of his soulmate's left hand and slid the sleeve of his hoodie just a little bit. There it was, the thin scar lines decorating his wrist that matched Corpse's own. He felt genuinely sick looking at them, and he barely noticed how Sykkuno's breath hitched in his throat.

"I did this to you." Corpse all but whispered, finally daring a glance at him to see his reaction. He wanted nothing more than to see hatred in his brown eyes but found none of that. It didn't even cross his mind that Sykkuno would've also been scared. In fact, he completely forgot about it. And he was absolutely ashamed of himself for it. What was he thinking? He didn't deserve Sykkuno and he never will.

"Corpse, it's okay-" He started but Corpse was already pulling away, stumbling back and barely catching himself before he fell. It would be easier and better for Sykkuno if he just hated him. He was a fuck up and all he would do is ruin his soulmate. Someone like him should have a soulmate that's stable, that can take care of both of them...someone that isn't Corpse.

"I-I'm sorry." He choked out, spinning on his heels and dashing back to the car. He had made Mykie promise she wouldn't leave until Corpse texted her that it was okay. And he was really fucking grateful she kept her word. He practically flung the door open, taking a seat and ripping off his facemask. He couldn't breathe.

"Drive." Was all he could get out, but Mykie was looking at him with worry, not making a move to get the car going.

"What happ-"

"Please, just drive." His voice broke and that was enough to get her going. Corpse felt the car move, but all he could do was wrap his arms around himself. He let the tears fall, he didn't care anymore, and Mykie just let him get it out. She honestly didn't know what to do, she had never seen Corpse this broken before. The entire, hour-long car ride back to Corpse's apartment was only filled with the sounds of his sobs.

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When the world came back to him, he was back in his apartment. He and Mykie were on the couch, Corpse wrapped in an incredibly soft grey blanket with his head resting on her lap. He was staring at the TV, not even the comfort of Disney was able to help. He felt numb, finally crying himself dry after a little over an hour. Mykie had broken into their emergency stash of ice cream and he honestly didn't remember blacking out. She never asked him to explain what happened, she just did what she knew cheered him up. However, it wasn't enough this time. Slowly, he pulled his left arm out from the safety of the blanket, taking the bracelets off and setting them aside on the coffee table. His bare wrist shared the same scars as Sykkuno.

"Why doesn't he hate me for this?" Just when he thought he was out of tears, he felt one slide down towards his ear. These scars mocked him, reminding him of how selfish he was to do this to his soulmate. Sykkuno probably got so many judgemental looks and comments for his own stupid mistakes and who knows what his parents thought. Either their son was cutting himself or his soulmate is mentally ill.

"You were 12, Corpse. You can't blame yourself for something you did 10 years ago and I'm sure Sykkuno doesn't either." She started playing with his hair, hoping that would give him something else to think about as he brought his arm back underneath the blanket. He didn't say anything for a long time, allowing the tears to silently fall.

"Yes, I can." With what little energy he had left, Corpse pulled himself up off the couch and headed to his room. Mykie called his name but he just needed to be alone right now. He locked the door behind him before settling into his bed. His phone was buzzing on the nightstand he left it on, Corpse unable to bring himself to look at his texts. He was sure they were from Sean and he was honestly terrified to find out if Sean was pissed at him for running out on Sykkuno or not. In the back of his mind, he registered the feeling of ink appearing on his skin. He decided he shouldn't read it.

He wasn't the soulmate Sykkuno deserved and he could only hope that the brunette realized that before it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops


	6. Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I want them to be together, it is a process. Corpse has a lot of things he needs to come to terms with and mental health makes it so much harder to accept that you can be loved. That's why the last chapter wasn't a happy ending, I wanted it to be accurate. 
> 
> As always, you guys are way too kind but I'm glad you like my writing so much! Maybe when I'm done with this story, I'll create another one <3

The walk back to his place was unpleasant, to say the least. Sykkuno wasn't mad at Corpse by any means, he hadn't intended for him to see those marks. The brunette didn't have any scars of his own that would appear on Corpse's own skin so, in his mind, it made sense that the other man wouldn't know they would be there for as long as they are on him. His heart had nearly stopped in his chest when he finally caught on to what made his soulmate switch emotions so fast. And while a majority of his face was covered, Sykkuno could read him like an open book. In his eye, he could see how ashamed he was and how guilty he felt. If he had just been a little bit faster, he could've comforted him.

That morning, he had slept past his alarm. He remembered waking up in a panic because the last thing he wanted to do was to keep Corpse waiting. It would've been embarrassing and downright awful of him. So, he got ready in a hurry, barely saying goodbye and completely ignoring his friend's hoots of encouragement. He had just reached the park, looking down at his phone to check the time when he felt himself hit a wall of black. Almost immediately he was flustered, feeling the stranger grab onto his arm to prevent him from falling completely. As he was stuttering out his apologies, he heard that deep voice he's grown to love say his name.

Almost instinctively, he met the deep brown gaze of the man he knew was Corpse. His face was mostly covered but the one eye he could see reeled him in completely. He could see the nervousness and excitement that swam in them, his wavy (curly?) hair framing his face so nicely. It looked so soft and Sykkuno wanted nothing more than to touch it. Another thing he noticed right away was Corpse's impeccable fashion style. It was something he could easily appreciate. And he smelled of vanilla and spice, it easily overwhelmed his senses. But almost immediately, he noticed his soulmate's eye drift down to his arm, sadness and alarm taking over completely.

No, Sykkuno couldn't bear to picture that look again. It held so much pain and his heart would break for this man that was struggling so much. And as much as it almost did, he knew Corpse doesn't want pity, he needs someone who understands and Sykkuno had already decided he would be just that.

Sykkuno hadn't realized he made it back until he was in front of the door to their house. He stared at the doorknob, debating on if he should just go somewhere else to think but honestly, he needed his friends. Because he had no idea what to do. And so, with a sigh, he opened the door and walked in, closing it behind him and meeting the eyes of everyone in the living room. They were clearly confused as to why he was back already but they took one look at him and realized something went wrong.

Toast ushered him to the couch, offering to grab him a drink or food but Sykkuno declined. He took a seat next to him, Rae on his other side, while Poki and Lily sat in the armchairs. Charlie, Felix, and Sean were on the floor in front of the tv. No one pressured him to talk, they just waited, occasionally exchanging worried glances. Sykkuno could practically feel the anger radiating off of Rae, probably thinking Corpse had hurt him in some way and that's how he knew he had to tell them everything. The last thing he wanted was for them to hate Corpse. Taking a deep breath, Sykkuno finally managed to look up from his lap to pull out his arm.

"Corpse...I don't think he knew that any scars he has will appear on my skin." His voice sounded foreign to his ears, so defeated and upset all at the same time. "We literally bumped into each other and when he grabbed my arm to make sure I wouldn't fall, he saw them. He looked so," The tears pricked at his eyes, the lump in his throat making it hard to talk but he had to. He had to keep going. "He looked so guilty and ashamed of himself. I don't know what to do." Sykkuno broke after that, sobbing into Toast's shoulder when it was offered to him.

They all got pretty drunk that night, feeling as if their friend needed to have a little distraction while they figured out the next step. Sykkuno convinced them all that Corpse hadn't hurt him, he was just so worried about what terrible things his soulmate is no doubt thinking. They all knew that the mysterious YouTuber was very open about his struggles with his fans and in lobbies, he often threw around self-deprecating comments about himself. So they all agreed that Sykkuno's worries were very much justified.

A week went by after the incident, no one hearing a word from Corpse. Sykkuno tried writing to him, everyone texted to ask if he was okay, even his fans began to worry. But there was nothing; it was like he dropped off the face of the Earth. Sykkuno never stopped worrying, he even began begging Sean for the address to Corpse's apartment as he was the only one who had been there. As much as he wanted to, the Irishman felt like that would be a huge invasion of Corpse's privacy. Unfortunately, Sykkuno found himself agreeing with Sean's reason. The last thing he wanted was for Corpse to feel cornered.

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Sean wasn't sure if this was a good idea but he was so worried about Corpse he just couldn't sit by and do nothing anymore. The hour-long drive to his friend's apartment felt incredibly slow, his anxiety boiling over the closer and closer he got. And as he walked up to the door, it didn't go away, even as he knocked. From the other side of the door, he heard shuffling before it creaked open slightly. It wasn't Corpse, that much he could tell, and as it opened more he was relieved to see it was Mykie. They had met the first time Sean was invited to Corpse's place.

"I'm sorry for dropping by so suddenly but no one has heard from Corpse in over a week and I'm really worried. Is he okay?" She didn't answer immediately, the gears turning in her head. Sean assumed it was because she wanted to protect her best friend but eventually gave up because she knew no one would buy any lie she said.

"No, not really." She finally said, stepping to the side to let Sean in. The apartment was as he remembered, just a bit more cleaner. Faintly, he heard the door shut behind him and Mykie appeared in his vision again, staring at the bedroom down the hall. Her eyebrows were knitted together in concern. "He hasn't left his room in days and I haven't gotten him to eat anything since Wednesday." Mykie paused again, finally meeting Sean's own blue eyes. "How is Sykkuno?" Sean sighed.

"Not any better. He's so scared about Corpse's wellbeing that he's forgetting to take care of himself." The two didn't say anything for a little bit, the apartment around them eerily quiet. Eventually, Sean adjusted his hair nervously before addressing her once more. "Do you think I could talk to him?" At first, she seemed uncertain, before gesturing for him to wait where he was. She made her way to the end of the hall, knocking and opening the door. He couldn't hear what she was saying but after about a minute, she turned back to him and gave him a thumbs up. They passed by each other as Sean finally entered the room, deciding to leave the door open in case Corpse started to feel trapped.

The male in question was sitting on the bed, his back to his headboard and his legs pulled to his chest. His face wasn't covered, Sean already knew what he looked like after all, and when their gazes met, he took note of how dull Corpse's eyes were. He was wearing a simple, white t-shirt with black sweats. Slowly, he made his way to the bed and took a seat on the other half, mimicking his seated position with the exception of one leg hanging off the side of the bed. They sat there, no one daring to speak a word for a long time, no one really knowing what to say. Just as Sean was sifting through his thoughts, the deep rumble of Corpse speaking pulled him out of his head.

"Are you here to yell at me?" His voice was raspier than usual, Sean figuring its because of how little talking Corpse has done in the past week. He wasn't looking at him, but Sean took him speaking as a good sign.

"No, I'm just here to make sure you're okay. If you want to talk, I'm ready to listen." Another blanket of silence, Sean making no move to pressure Corpse into saying anything. Honestly, he had no idea if Corpse trusted him at all, they have only known each other for a little over six months and while they played together often and texted, they never talked about anything serious. He was pleasantly surprised when he did speak up.

"Sykkuno should hate me. For these scars, for putting him through so many different things when I tried to kill myself, for running out on him, for everything." Corpse spat, but it wasn't directed at Sykkuno or Sean, it was at himself. If there were two things Sean took away from this it was: One, Corpse had an incredibly low self-esteem of himself, and two, he had tried to kill himself. And despite his best wishes, Sean made the mistake of asking.

"You tried to commit suicide?" Sean's voice was so quiet, unable to tear his gaze away from Corpse. And at his question, the other man looked up at him with slightly wide eyes that quickly flashed with fear at the revelation.

"I thought...I thought Sykkuno told you guys." Corpse swallowed, his arms wrapping around his knees and pulling them closer as if they would protect him. Sean wanted so badly to give him a hug but refrained from doing so. He wasn't sure how Corpse would react. So, instead, he hovered a hand over Corpse's shoulder, giving him enough time to tell him no before bringing it down to rest there.

"Actually, Sykkuno kept a lot of your guy's conversations a secret. We tried, trust me, but he wanted to respect your privacy. The only one we were really there for was the first...sign he had a soulmate and then the first time you wrote to him." The tension in Corpse left his body ever so slightly at the contact, Sean could feel it, but he could also tell he didn't actually feel any better. In fact, he was positive Corpse felt even worse.

"Sykkuno dealt with that by himself because he didn't want to hurt me." It was more of a statement than a question, and Sean watched as Corpse's hand moved to rest on his throat. He remembered the first time they met, the other man had started having a panic attack. He had done the exact same gesture and later, Mykie told him Corpse does that whenever he feels like he's going to puke. It was his way of keeping it down.

Sean elected to rub his back comfortingly. Corpse closed his eyes, and he watched as his friend brought himself down from a possible anxiety attack. Eventually, it passed and he relaxed, yet his expression showed that he felt even more guilty than before.

"I know you think you're protecting Sykkuno by pushing him away. That'd it be easier for him to hate you, but the truth is, it's not your decision to make. And I know for a fact you don't want Sykkuno to hate you." Sean spoke as soft as he could, with enough tone to get his point across completely. "Let Sykkuno decide what he wants." Corpse brought the heel of his palms up to press into his eyes. The brunette didn't say anything after that, letting him absorb his advice. In the back of his mind, Sean had to remember that Corpse was only 23. Seven years younger than himself and had easily experienced more hardships in his young life than most 50-year-olds. Just like Mykie, he desperately wanted the other man to be happy. But he had such a fear of something good happening to him that he has a habit of subconsciously preventing it from happening.

"You're right." Corpse finally said, dropping his hands to the bed and looking at Sean. If he wasn't so analytical of his friend at the moment, he would've easily missed the small smile that appeared on his lips. "Thank you, Sean."

They spent the next hour or so just talking. Corpse had warily asked how Sykkuno was doing, and Sean told him he was just worried, but not hurt. Then, he asked about Evelien and how they were doing. It was nice, being able to talk to Corpse in person and he slowly was returning to his old self. Eventually, Sean decided he had to go back to the house before the others worried too much, making Corpse promise he was going to eat something before he left the apartment.

By the time he got back, Sykkuno had the biggest smile on his face, proudly showing him his arm that read **'Meet me at the Offline cafe tomorrow at noon'** in handwriting that clearly belonged to Corpse. That night, they celebrated with pizza and movies. Sean only hoped that his advice helped them come together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sean is an amazing person and no one can convince me otherwise.


	7. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest, this chapter was so hard to write. Both emotionally and I just...didn't know how to put what I wanted into words. I hope it's not awful, I'm really unsure about it. Also, the next chapter will be the last one! It's been a wild ride and you've all been so supportive. I'm thinking about starting another Corpsekkuno story so let me know if you're interested in it!

The next day, Sykkuno woke up pretty early. He was too excited for today to actually go back to sleep and he spent the whole day with Rae, Poki, and Lily picking out an outfit. It was a lot more complicated than he thought it would be, the three girls arguing about what he should wear. As they were fighting amongst themselves, Sykkuno went about styling his hair. He didn't put much product in, letting it fall across his forehead like he usually does. The rambling behind him came to stop as a hoodie was chucked at his head, forcing him to look at the three girls.

"We came to an agreement." Poki smiled sweetly, getting up and shuffling the rest of the group out the door so he could change. Chuckling, he slid on the white skinny jeans and a lime green hoodie. They chose some matching converse and admittedly, he felt as if he pulled off green pretty well. By the time he was ready, it was about 10 o'clock in the morning, he heard a ding from his computer set up in the corner of his bedroom. It was a notification from discord, from none other than Corpse Husband himself.

'Hey, I'm sorry this is last minute but can we meet at my place? My condition is acting up.' Corpse had told Sykkuno that he had an illness called fibromyalgia. He didn't really go into much detail so the brunette had taken it upon himself to do a little bit of research. Essentially, it's a condition that flares up whenever the person who has it is stressed and causes pain in the muscles. He couldn't imagine blowing up as much as Corpse has with that. And he figured meeting at his apartment would make him more comfortable.

'Sure! I can have Sean drive me.' He offered before shutting off his computer. Sykkuno wanted to say they could wait for a day he wasn't in pain but he felt as if Corpse really needed to just talk things out with him. And since he was off his meds, this was bound to happen eventually. Leaving his room, he met his friends in the living room and covered his face as they complimented him. The next hour was spent helping Sykkuno relax, both by playing Mario Kart and jamming out to anime openings.

Sean had readily agreed to drive him, and when the clock hit 11:00, they got into his car. The ride there was spent with the two of them talking about Corpse, streaming, and any random thing that came to their minds. Sykkuno, despite what he previously thought, was not all that nervous. He was ready to listen as Corpse got everything he needed off his chest and he could promise himself now that no matter what he says, he won't leave him to deal with it by himself anymore. When Sean pulled up in front of the building, Sykkuno committed the floor and room number to memory. His friend told him he would be visiting Anthony while he was in town so he'd just be right around the corner if he was needed.

Sykkuno watched as he drove off before turning around to enter the building in front of him. His heart was hammering in his chest, more so for the anticipation of the situation than anything else. He was relieved that the elevator was empty, he didn't have it in him to actually pay attention to strangers. His mind was swirling with possible outcomes of the situation that might unfold when he walked through Corpse's door. With a beep, the elevator doors opened on the 6th floor and so he made his way down until he stood face to face with apartment #64. Without wasting any more time, he knocked.

He was expecting Corpse to open the door but instead, he was face to face with a strikingly beautiful blonde woman. She stood at about 5'4, her hair pulled up into two buns. Her blue eyes were framed by black eyeliner. She smiled brightly, stepping aside to give him room to come in. He did so, spotting Corpse sitting on the couch wearing the same black face mask and white eyepatch the first time they met. He was wearing a black v-neck shirt and black ripped skinny jeans. And of course, he was bedazzled with silver rings, necklaces, and bracelets.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Sykkuno! I'm Mykie." The woman, Mykie, introduced herself, shaking his hand with enthusiasm that he found endearing in a certain kind of way. She was the polar opposite of Corpse and he realized that's probably why they were such good friends. He wasn't threatened by the fact she was a woman, he had three close friends that were girls as well, and now that he knew who she was, he could properly thank her some other time for everything she's done for his soulmate.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mykie." Sykkuno offered her an equally bright smile. She giggled at that, turning to face Corpse this time. The way she spoke to him reminded him so much of how siblings talked to each other.

"Text if you need anything." Was the last thing she said before the door closed behind her. Sykkuno slowly began walking over to the couch, carefully examining his body language for any sign of discomfort. When there was none, he took a seat next to him. Corpse hadn't moved much, only moving his head so he could actually see Sykkuno.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked, unable to help how concerned he was. He wanted to make sure that Corpse wasn't in too much pain before anything else. Corpse's expression softened, glancing down at his arms before speaking to him again.

"Yeah, it just hurts when I move." Corpse chuckled, though Sykkuno couldn't find the humor in that. He didn't say that though, only offering him a shy smile. He didn't feel odd about not being able to see most of Corpse's face, and if he was being honest, he understood his decision. Privacy was so hard to have nowadays and with a voice like Corpse, he already is super recognizable.

"So uh..." Sykkuno cleared his throat, unsure what to say. Corpse seemed to be in the same boat, letting out a soft, nervous laugh. The sound of it was enough to make Sykkuno swoon and it took all of his willpower to not just melt right there. Hearing him laugh in person was a whole other experience.

"I'm sorry about, you know, running off like that." He finally spoke, clearing his throat when it cracked a bit. Sykkuno watched him raise his arm to reach for a cup but after the groan of pain reached his ears, the brunette got it for him. Out of respect, he looked away so Corpse could take a drink. He wasn't going to peek, no matter how tempting, because he wanted his soulmate to know that he could trust him.

"I-It's okay Corpse. I'm not upset about it!" He chirped, waiting until Corpse told him it was okay to look again. It didn't come much after and the glass of water was empty. Sykkuno took it and placed it back on the coffee table. Corpse fell still once again, lolling his head to the side so he could look at Sykkuno.

"It doesn't matter, it was still a shitty move on my part." Corpse started, pausing for a split second before looking down at his lap. From this angle, Sykkuno couldn't see his expression at all. "I was just so ashamed of myself. I mean, I thought it would be easier if you just...learned to hate me." Sykkuno was so tempted to just give this man a hug but that would have to wait. Talk first, then hugs.

"Why do you think I should hate you?" Sykkuno asked, surprised by the lack of nervous stutter in his voice despite the fact he was insanely nervous. Corpse didn't look at him, his gaze trained on the thin scars decorating his wrist. Sykkuno let him collect his thoughts, waiting patiently for him to figure out what he wanted to say. Now, he's gone through those moments of depression that he felt were normal, however, he had no idea what it was like to face it on a regular basis. Sean, who had battled depression when he was younger, described it as constantly having a voice in your head telling you that you deserve all the bad things. That it makes you feel like you need to isolate yourself from others and the more time that passes, you believe it.

"Why shouldn't you? I scarred you, I tried to kill myself and you went through that by yourself because you didn't want to hurt me, I constantly stopped talking to you for days on end without an explanation, and each time, you held nothing against me. You accepted me even though I'm a fucking mess. I have done nothing to deserve your kindness, more or less being your soulmate." Corpse's voice was shaking, his right hand gripping his left wrist in a way Sykkuno knew it had to be painful. "I don't understand. Why do you keep coming back? What do I have to offer? I want to be with you so bad, but I know I'm being selfish because all I'm going to do is ruin your life like I have mine. I just...I can't..." Sykkuno couldn't take it anymore. With a slow-motion so Corpse knew he was moving, he slightly pushed on his right shoulder so the man would get the hint that he wanted him to face him. And when he did, Sykkuno took the chance to wrap his arms around Corpse's shoulder in a tight hug. Only then did he notice Corpse was crying. Weakly, the younger man put his arms around Sykkuno's waist.

They sat there, Corpse sobbing into Sykkuno's shoulder as he ran his fingers through his hair in a way that he hoped was comforting. He briefly registered Corpse reaching up to tug the eyepatch and mask off his face, they were no doubt uncomfortable to cry in. But Sykkuno still didn't pull away, looking at the mirror hanging on the wall behind Corpse. It was covered with a black sheet.

"Do you want to know what I think?" Sykkuno didn't get an answer, he wasn't expecting one, and focused on the feel of Corpse's hair through his fingers. It was incredibly soft, reminding him much of how his soulmate's personality was despite the intimidating exterior. "Whenever I think of you, I don't see what you did. I don't think I ever could. You're someone who is so set on helping those around him, whether it's your fans or friends. You're so open about your struggles with your fans because you hope your experiences can help them get better. And it's one of the things that makes you so amazing. You're so focused on making sure your friends and those that follow you are happy, that oftentimes you neglect yourself. When you were 12, you were so numb that you wanted to cut yourself to feel something, anything. But you stopped because you didn't want to worry me. Even then, you put me before yourself and you had no idea I existed or what kind of person I was." Sykkuno hesitated, stopping the motion of massaging his scalp. "Can I look at you?" Corpse tensed in his arms and the brunette's anxiety spiked, thinking he messed things up already. But not even a second later, he felt the younger one nod against his shoulder. So, as gentle as he could, Sykkuno pulled back to take in Corpse fully. He wasn't ugly like he believed, but it was true he didn't look like how he sounded. It hit Sykkuno all at once, actually seeing Corpse. He was so young.

"You're not a screw-up. You're someone who deserves kindness. You're a survivor; you pushed past everything life threw at you. You might not believe me yet, and that's okay. But I'm going to do everything I can to help you because you deserve to be happy." Corpse's eyes were red from crying, fresh tears still rolling down his face. Silently, Sykkuno wondered how long the younger man held all of this in. Eventually, Corpse dropped his arms back to his side and he was sure they ached from being held for so long. 

"You're so much cuter in person." Corpse rasped and Sykkuno sputtered, covering his blush with a hand. The laugh he heard made his heart flutter and he had to look away out of pure embarrassment.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two of them decided to watch some movies and much to Sykkuno's amusement, Corpse had pretty eagerly suggested How To Train Your Dragon. Which was fine with him because he loved Toothless just as much as the next guy. But by the time the third movie started, Corpse had fallen asleep with his head resting on his lap. He looked so peaceful, and it made Sykkuno a little happy he was sleeping. Judging from the bags under his eyes, he hadn't gotten a good amount of rest in a while.

Sykkuno heard keys unlock the front door and Mykie entered the apartment. She spotted the two on the couch and smiled, quietly closing the door and putting her stuff down. She grabbed a blanket from a room down the hall and draped it over the sleeping man. He watched her as she took a seat in the other armchair.

"How is he?" She asked, watching the blanket rise and fall with his breaths. Sykkuno stared down at Corpse, brushing a strand of his curly hair out of his face. The smile that crossed his lips was so genuine, Mykie's heart burst to know that her best friend's soulmate was so lovely.

"I think he's doing better." Sykkuno didn't want to look away from Corpse but he decided that now was his chance to thank Mykie for helping Corpse. So, he met her blue eyes cautiously. "Are you the one that found him after he..." He trailed off, not sure if he should actually say it but she caught onto what he was trying to say. Her eyes softened, looking down at her hands and nodding.

"Thank you for everything." Sykkuno smiled sadly, a gesture she reciprocated. "I was so worried when he told me but Corpse said he was never alone. I can't tell you how happy I am he had a friend like you." Mykie giggled, pulling the buns out of her hair and letting it fall over her shoulder.

"Corpse is like my brother, I'd do anything for him." She leaned forward to place a hand over his. "You two are fucking adorable by the way. Sean is going to flip." Sykkuno tried not to laugh so he wouldn't disturb a sleeping somebody but Mykie stood back up shortly after to head into the kitchen.

"You're welcome to stay for dinner, Sykkuno!" And he knew for a fact he would because he wanted to be nowhere else but with his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaay our baby boys are finally together!


	8. Happily Ever After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAH last chapter! It has been such an amazing journey and you guys have been way too kind. Thank you all so much for the support. Look at the endnotes to pick between two Corpsekuno stories I want to write and vote which one you'd like to see! 
> 
> Enjoy <3

Corpse couldn't remember the last time he had been this happy. And in all honesty, he still didn't quite know how to handle it. He was so used to life screwing him over the second something remotely good happened to him. Oh, YouTube is starting to kick-off? Here, let's have you lose your voice and paralyze your arms! The thought made Corpse laugh bitterly. And now, six months since he and Sykkuno got together, he was waiting for that to happen again. His mind was telling him that this is all some elaborate prank they're pulling on you. Distance yourself now and it won't be as painful.

But then every time he talked to Sykkuno on the phone or hung out with him in person, all those thoughts just vanished. No matter how much he doubted himself, his soulmate was there to play with his hair, smile and laugh at his jokes, and raise his serotonin by just _existing._ In the first month, he felt he was being so selfish by using Sykkuno to make himself happy. Eventually, he learned that if anything, the brunette was purposefully putting himself around Corpse to make him happy.

"Are you sure you're happy with me?" Corpse would often ask, anxious that Sykkuno's response would change each time he did. But always, he was rewarded with the most beautiful smile in the world, and reassurance that he was, in fact, happy with him. After every time he asked, he would get the most amazing cuddles to solidify it. It was moments like those that were his favorite. 

The fourth month into their relationship, Corpse agreed to meet Sykkuno's friends in person. Well, at the time they were just internet friends to the dark-haired man (with the exception of Sean) and he was so nervous about disappointing them. But in his mind, he told himself that Jacksepticeye had stuck around after seeing his face so they should too...right? Mykie agreed to come with him, she was good friends with Marzia and Evelien due to their soulmates being friends as well, so it made him feel a little less bad about her coming along. She drove him to the house Sykkuno shared with his friends, hyping him up the entire time. He had asked her if it was weird to cover his face with a face mask and eyepatch but she assured him they would understand.

When they got there, Mykie was the one who knocked and they were greeted by his soulmate who was looking absolutely adorable in one of Corpse's oversized black hoodies and light blue skinny jeans. He and Mykie exchanged a hug, which was then given to Corpse though much more intimately. They entered the house and the first person to enthusiastically introduce themselves was Rae. She was the same person whether she was on the computer or in person, which provided Corpse with some sort of normalcy. After that, it was Toast, Lily, Poki, and Charlie. Lily and Poki were initially a bit too much for him to handle and he was thankful when Toast peeled away the man who was clearly freaking out. Felix introduced himself next and Sykkuno was so glad to see that Corpse, Felix, and Charlie had hit it off pretty well, much like his soulmate and Sean.

It wasn't until a month after they started hanging out did Corpse feel comfortable enough to show them his face. To his relief, no one was disappointed or thought he was ugly. The only comment they made was about how he really was only 23. After that, he never wore his facemask around them (sometimes he wore the eyepatch if his eye was acting up) and he quickly became integrated into their little group. Not even a week later did Felix accidentally let it slip on stream that Corpse and Sykkuno were dating. That was probably one of the worst panic attacks Corpse ever had, but Sykkuno was there to hold him and comfort him until he was better. And then, they talked about it, agreeing that just because it's out there now, they didn't have to do anything they weren't comfortable with. Luckily for them though, they often flirted with each other in Among Us even before they started dating so their fans still got a little bit of fanservice.

Now, they sat next to each other in Corpse's room, their fingers intertwined between them. It has been six months since they entered a relationship with each other. Corpse had just finished recording a song that felt the most personal to him and asked Sykkuno if he could give his honest opinion of it. In the past, his songs were typically a bit too aggressive for the brunette so he was sort of expecting this one to be the same. However, he was pleasantly surprised by the lofi nature Corpse had chosen and he decided that it fit the man's deep vocals pretty well. And just like he had promised, it was incredibly personal.

"So, what do you think? I'm not very confident about it." Corpse wasn't looking at Sykkuno, his features contorted in embarrassment by the time the song ended. There was no way he could see the tears Sykkuno held in his eyes. So, the brunette held Corpse's face in his hands, resting their foreheads together.

"It's amazing, Corpse. It's my favorite song so far." Sykkuno was smiling, his hands sliding down to rest on his shoulders. Neither of them moved for a long time, Corpse's eyes occasionally drifting down to his lips. Sykkuno felt a hand come to rest on the back of his neck and slowly, his eyes fell closed.

The next thing he felt was a pair of soft lips on his own. It was gentle and Sykkuno kissed back almost immediately. Their lips worked against one another, a pair of arms coming to wrap around Corpse's neck. When they pulled apart, both were left breathless. Sykkuno was the first to move, covering his mouth with a nervous laugh.

"I-I'm not very good at kissing." He giggled, causing Corpse to swoon all over again. He removed the hand that was covering Sykkuno's oh so gorgeous smile, planting a kiss on his forehead before letting go to push the hair out of his own forehead. It was a habit he may or may not have picked up from his soulmate.

"I thought it was great." He smirked at the blush covering Sykkuno's cheeks, turning back to his computer to upload the song he decided to call Agoraphobic. That night, it got trending on YouTube, something he did not expect, and they celebrated by getting drunk. Corpse was cleared two months back to drink alcohol and take his medications again.

It was a whole other experience to see Sykkuno drunk. He giggled at every little thing and it was the cutest sight Corpse had ever seen. As for the darker man, he was very cuddly. Always wanting hugs and kisses from Sykkuno whenever he could get it. Of course, the brunette was more than happy to oblige. Their friends could only describe it as tooth-rottingly sweet.

Two months later, they moved in together. Sykkuno was sad about leaving the house he shared with his friends, but he knew they would always be there for him. He and Corpse decided to get an apartment in LA so they would all be closer together (Mykie had moved in with Anothony several months back) and Corpse had to admit that he liked the change living with Sykkuno brought. He was so used to dark rooms, covered mirrors, and closed windows. But now, their place was filled with plants, the windows were kept open most days, and there were cute little figurines and stuffed animals laying around strategically.

It took a while for Corpse to get used to uncovered mirrors. He still hated how he looked and his self-esteem always dropped whenever he caught his reflection. Corpse was proud to say he had yet to break a mirror in their new place but Sykkuno had caught him glaring at his reflection the first week they were there. He spent all night complimenting him, bringing up habits that even Corpse didn't know he did. It warmed his heart that his soulmate was so observant when it came to him (and literally nothing else).

When Christmas rolled around, Corpse had trouble getting Sykkuno a present. He was notoriously bad with getting gifts and after a long thought, he had an idea. It was a week before the infamous holiday, and they were binging corny Hallmark movies when Corpse decided it was now or never. So, he leaned forward and paused the movie, turning to face a confused Sykkuno.

"Hey 'Kuno, do you remember when I drew you that rose?" At the mention of it, Sykkuno grabbed his phone and spent a few minutes scrolling before showing him a picture he took of it. Corpse had no idea he had saved a photo but the embarrassed smile he wore filled his heart. He chuckled, running a hand through Sykkuno's hair in adoration.

"For Christmas, would you be upset if I got this tattooed on me? I thought...I mean...nevermind." Corpse cleared his throat, making a motion to grab the remote but Sykkuno stopped him, grabbing his hand to interlock their fingers together.

"I would love that. I, uhm, I was going to do it actually but," Sykkuno giggled, covering his blush. "I don't like needles." Corpse laughed, giving his soulmate a soft kiss to quell his embarrassment. Sykkuno all but melted into the gesture, wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck. Corpse pulled back with a smile, something he's done a lot more since dating Sykkuno.

"You're in luck then." They went back to the movie, but if he was being honest, neither he nor Sykkuno was paying much attention, too focused on the feeling of the brunette's lips on his own.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For about a month after they moved in together, Corpse had noticed a black cat that lived in the alley next to their apartment complex. He made sure every night he left food out for him (her?) as well as some water. At first, the cat kept its distance but over that week, it would come up to him with a hearty meow every time he brought it food. And then, it let Corpse pet it. The cat was missing half of one of its ears, the eye on the same side was missing with a scar over it. Despite being feral, it was rather sweet and often rubbed up against his leg.

That Christmas, Sykkuno had officially adopted that cat, finding out it was a girl when he took it to the vet and gifted it to Corpse. To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. She was about 1 year old, and despite living in the alley her whole life, was in great health. Corpse named her Hunter and she adjusted to living in an apartment fairly well. It was the cutest thing whenever Sykkuno would walk into their place and Corpse was laying on the floor with her on his chest, or taking a little photoshoot of Hunter to post on Instagram.

On December 28th, Corpse had an appointment to get a tattoo. He used the same artist as Felix, a kind man who looked very much like a biker. It didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would and the first session took about 6 hours. The second one took place on the next day and only took 3 hours to finish. It looked exactly like how Corpse had drawn it, albeit with better shading. When he got back to the apartment, Sykkuno was staring at the tattoo with a huge smile on his face.

"I love it." Sykkuno embraced him, giving him a kiss on the cheek before examining the wrapped tattoo on Corpse. He had decided to get it on his wrist that held his scars. The bloomed bud of the red rose covered a majority of the scars, the rest of them being covered by the thorny stem and words (Sykkuno had insisted he keep his shitty handwriting because it meant a lot to him and dammit, he couldn't say no to him).

The tattoo healed with no issues and it was the first time in years that Corpse felt confident in showing his arms. Even with his friends, who absolutely fawned over it, he could wear short-sleeved shirts with no bracelets covering that wrist.

On their one-year anniversary, they had to spend it inside due to Covid. So, Corpse surprised Sykkuno with a homemade bun cha meal, a Vietnamese dish that Sykkuno hadn't had since he was a child. It brought back so many memories and if he cried a little bit, Corpse didn't judge. The younger man was so self-conscious of his cooking abilities and to know that he went through the effort to make something so complicated for him made Sykkuno so overwhelmingly happy.

"I love you, Corpse." It came out of nowhere, the two had never said the L-word to each other before, but Sykkuno knew it was the truth before they even met. He giggled at how red Corpse turned, choking on the water he had been drinking. Okay, maybe his timing could have been a bit better. After coming down from a coughing fit, Corpse met his eyes with a sheepish smile, grabbing his hand from across the table with his own ring studded one.

"I love you too, Sykkuno." He watched Sykkuno smile, blew him a kiss from across the table, and went back to his meal happily. While Corpse still doesn't understand what he did to deserve such a wholesome bean like Sykkuno, he thanked the universe anyway because maybe, just maybe, he wasn't completely unlovable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story Idea #1: High school AU where Corpse is the new kid who doesn't talk much!
> 
> Story Idea #2: Demon AU where Sykkuno accidentally summons a demon named Corpse!
> 
> UPDATE: I uploaded the first chapter of my new story. Idea #1 won (I think) but don't fret, I'll write the second idea after because I like that one too! I put this story and my new one into a series so check it out!


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